Tuesday, October 04, 2005

The First Time I Experienced Depression

As I sit here doing research for this blog and for my main site: http://www.depressionadviceonline.com/index.html, I realize that I have yet to tell my story. Well, that's not totally true. In my very first post, I mentioned my motivation for creating my main website and this blog. I guess, that was partially true.

My main motivation WAS the fact that I've had close family members and friends (who shall remain nameless) experience different types of depression. Some of them even attempted suicide. Luckily, none of the attempts were successful. I don't know what I'd do if they had managed to end their lives. They all mean the world to me and I'm just glad they got the help they needed to get back on track and lead happy lives again.

The other motivation for creating my website and this blog, if I must admit it, was my own experience. Throughout my lifetime, I've gone through some tough times and experienced depression. I failed to seek help from a professional. If I had, I feel I would have gotten over it sooner.

As a teen, I was accused of being a lesbian by a close family member. Now, before anyone gets any bad ideas about me for writing that, let me just say that I am NOT homophobic or bashing anyone who is a homosexual. Now with that out of the way, back to my story. Back when I was first accused, homosexuality wasn't something everyone went around talking about. You didn't hear about it on TV or the movies. It wasn't like it is now. In any case, I was accused and devestated! I couldn't believe that someone so close to me would accuse me of such a thing. The very first thing I wanted to do was go out and get pregnant to prove that person wrong. Then I realized that wasn't the answer. I was too young to be a mother and what would bring a child into the world prove.

After I was accused, I kept wondering if anyone else viewed me like that. I got so depressed I actually thought of taking my own life. I even put the pills in my hand. I was going to do it. I wanted the pain to end. I couldn't stop crying and sleep was something I seemed to had forgotten.

Luckily, I began to think about those dear family members who loved me. I didn't want to hurt them by taking my life. I realized that suicide was not the answer. It never is the answer.

In any case, with the love and support of certain people (and they know who they are), I was able to get my life back on track. I'm glad I didn't give in to depression and let it win.

Always remember, there is a solution and suicide is NEVER a part of that solution.

To Your Health,
Anna

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I think that just because someone says something bad about you . You dont go around being all depressed. Just forget about what that person said and move on with your life. Anyways the messege in your story was really cool.