Friday, November 11, 2005

Dating Advice: Dealing With Rejection - By Terry Hernon MacDonald

"A rejection is nothing more than a necessary step in the pursuit of success. "
- Bo Bennett

Rejection hurts.

But there came a time in my dating career (shortly after being given the pink slip from a guy I was absolutely crazy about) when it dawned on me that everybody is rejected at one time or another. I read an interview with a massively attractive rock star who talked about getting the heave-ho from a girl he loved, and I thought, "Wow, if even he gets rejected, then perhaps I'm not so bad off after all."

Chances are some guy will tell you, "I think it's time we see other people." And it will probably hurt.

How do you deal with it? Well, you can sit around with a gallon of Haagen Dazs, wondering where you went wrong, why you can't hold a man, why you're fundamentally undesirable. Or you can tell yourself, "Maybe it just wasn't meant to be."

Which is the healthier choice? Hey, you are entitled to your feelings. Rejection stings, but this is the time to love yourself, not berate yourself for being a loser. Wallowing in misery and junk food will only make you, well, miserable. And miserable people are a turn-off.

When some guy informs you that you're not the woman of his dreams, shake his hand and thank him for the memories. Think of it this way: He's not for you. Maybe somebody upstairs is making sure he doesn't move into your life for a reason.

But, if you absolutely must, sit around for a day (two at the very most) with the Haagen Dazs. Be miserable. Feel what you feel. Ask yourself what, if anything, you did to send him away.

Then stop.

Treat yourself like a treasure that has yet to be discovered. Carry yourself like a queen. Banish all thoughts of your former relationship. Smile easily at people wherever you go.

Move on. You'll open yourself up to the lasting relationship you deserve, and to a man who brings you joy and laughter.

Terry Hernon MacDonald is the author of "How to Attract and Marry the Man of Your Dreams." Sign up for her free dating tips at . Check out her blog at .

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