Friday, November 11, 2005

Dating Advice: Dealing With Rejection - By Terry Hernon MacDonald

"A rejection is nothing more than a necessary step in the pursuit of success. "
- Bo Bennett

Rejection hurts.

But there came a time in my dating career (shortly after being given the pink slip from a guy I was absolutely crazy about) when it dawned on me that everybody is rejected at one time or another. I read an interview with a massively attractive rock star who talked about getting the heave-ho from a girl he loved, and I thought, "Wow, if even he gets rejected, then perhaps I'm not so bad off after all."

Chances are some guy will tell you, "I think it's time we see other people." And it will probably hurt.

How do you deal with it? Well, you can sit around with a gallon of Haagen Dazs, wondering where you went wrong, why you can't hold a man, why you're fundamentally undesirable. Or you can tell yourself, "Maybe it just wasn't meant to be."

Which is the healthier choice? Hey, you are entitled to your feelings. Rejection stings, but this is the time to love yourself, not berate yourself for being a loser. Wallowing in misery and junk food will only make you, well, miserable. And miserable people are a turn-off.

When some guy informs you that you're not the woman of his dreams, shake his hand and thank him for the memories. Think of it this way: He's not for you. Maybe somebody upstairs is making sure he doesn't move into your life for a reason.

But, if you absolutely must, sit around for a day (two at the very most) with the Haagen Dazs. Be miserable. Feel what you feel. Ask yourself what, if anything, you did to send him away.

Then stop.

Treat yourself like a treasure that has yet to be discovered. Carry yourself like a queen. Banish all thoughts of your former relationship. Smile easily at people wherever you go.

Move on. You'll open yourself up to the lasting relationship you deserve, and to a man who brings you joy and laughter.

Terry Hernon MacDonald is the author of "How to Attract and Marry the Man of Your Dreams." Sign up for her free dating tips at http://www.marrysmart.com . Check out her blog at http://happygirlmusing.blogspot.com .

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/

Dealing with the Painful Loss of a Loved One - By Anna Allen

I had to take a friend to the doctor today and as I sit here in the waiting room about to doze off I begin to write this article. By the way, why do waiting rooms in doctor's offices make people sleepy?

OK, let me get back on track. As I'm sitting here, I hear a lady behind me talking of her past depression. She mentions she felt so lonely after her dear husband passed away. In her own words, 'her whole world fell apart.' She said her husband handled everything in their marriage such as the money, bills and auto maintenance. After he passed away she became overwhelmed with all the finances and other responsibilities she now had to deal with, not to mention the fact that she was still mourning the death of her husband.

This conversation got me to thinking of how many people deal with the painful loss of a loved one.

Many times when a loved one passes, those left behind might not immediately feel the effects of that loss. It has not 'hit them' or 'sunk in' yet. Sometimes it takes a while for a person to react to the loss. Some may try to stay strong or hide their feelings in front of others. But when the funeral is over and the family and friends have returned to their homes, the person may break down. It finally sinks in. Some sink into a depression so bad they close themselves off from the rest of the world. They take extra time off from work and even turn down invitations from family and friends.

Isolation and self-pity are never the answer. It's okay to mourn. Even people in Bible times mourned when they lost loved ones in death.

A few examples of this include:

* King David who was grief stricken when his son Absalon died (2Samuel 18:33)

* Abraham bewailed the loss of his dear wife, Sarah (Genesis 23:2)

* Even Jesus himself, who was a perfect man, 'gave way to tears' over the death of his friend Lazarus (John 11:35)

So this shows that there is a sadness when we lose a loved one to death.

Then thing is to not dwell on everything. Keep busy. Get involved in other things such as hobbies. Get you mind off the loss. The memories will always be there but they don't have to be painful.

Another thing that can help you deal with your sorrow is Bible reading. God, being the loving God that he is, helps his people to endure the extreme sadness and grief that comes with bereavement. God's spirit helps us to have peace and faith in the wonderful future promised in his Word the Bible.

The Scriptures refer to God as 'the God of all comfort,' so we can be sure that he will give us the strength we need and not let us be overwhelmed by sad thoughts about our dead loved one.

Knowing all this should help us realize that we are not alone in experiencing the pain of our loss. Others have been through the same thing. In time, the pain will subside. The world is not going to stop for our broken heart. Life will go on. Things WILL get better.

So knowing all of this and the fact that even the perfect man Jesus went through this as well, should help us to deal with the painful loss of a loved one.