Monday, July 24, 2006

How to Help Your Man in Andropause - By: Monalisa Hyden

Name it mid-life crisis or retirement blues, the gradual change in your man’s taste and temperament driving you crazy these days, is Andropause. Blame it on the diminishing hormone level in his body that has made him unmanageable after 30 years of marital bliss. As a woman goes through menopause, so a man has to face Andropause in a certain point of time in his life. His patience would diminish as his receding hairline; he will constantly fight with you for your unconditional love while his libido will go downhill. The most common symptom of Andropause is depression which is subtly but strongly connected to impotence and sexual problems. They will experience difficulty in attaining a sustaining erection, mood swing, lethargy, depression, irritation etc.

The symptoms of depression cannot be generalized in men as we can do so for women. The reason behind, men do not want to admit that they are depressed as they are supposed to stronger than women are. They will hate to accept the fact that they have problems with their sexuality and depression has anything to do with this. The male depression symptoms are not generalized, so that is the reason why a depressed man’s depression goes unrecognized. But truly speaking, the consequence of depression in men is far more destructive than that of women. You will be shocked when I will tell you that 80% of suicide cases are of men in the U.S. With no intention of terrifying you, just for your knowledge and precaution, here is another fact; the male suicide rate at midlife is three times higher; for men over 65, seven times higher. (Source: Jed Diamond's book Male Menopause)

The symptoms of male depression cannot be generalized, so let me tell you the different ways of how a woman and a man react when victimized by devil depression. A depressed woman will suffer from guilt and blame themselves for everything while a man under depression will blame others. Women feel sad, apathetic, and worthless while men are supposed to be ego inflated, angry and irritable. Women, when depressed, feel anxious and scared, but men are suspicious and guarded. Men will create conflict while women will escape from any type of conflict. The depressed woman will withdraw when hurt, but a depressed man will attack you on the spot. A depressed woman has low self esteem and hate to trouble others while a depressed man will demand respect from others and always be agitated and hostile. A depressed woman will sleep too much in order to escape the real world while a depressed man will sleep too little. The women who are depressed find it easy to talk about her frustration while a depressed man is terrified to let others know about his weaknesses. A depressed woman feels safe when the family cares for her, she comes closer to her family members, but a man would master his family to feel safe. Men would try to overcome his Andropause using alcohol, sex, TV, sports, and a woman would eat more, and look for friends and those who love her, to fight her menopause blues. Now that you know the probable symptoms that may occur to your middle aged male, let me tell you how you should help him.

 The first step is to identify the depressed man. Remember, men do not see depression in themselves as denial is their most active psychological defense.

 Men are most egoist, they hate to ask for help. Your man will seek psychological help only when pressurized by a significant person in life. So, as a wife, you need to create pressure on him.

 You have to advise your man, who is going through Andropause depression, to exercise and follow a healthy diet.

 He should undergo individual and group psychotherapy.

 Meditation and spirituality will open a new understanding of life to him; in fact you can accompany him in this activity. That will help both of you strengthening the bond within you two.

 He should take proper medications; there is a number of good antidepressant for him, e.g. Xanax

 Help your man recreate the social circle he ignored due to his busy life. Ask him to contact old friends and make new ones.

 Make him understand with your love that he is as wonderful as he was earlier. This will help him to love himself and accept for he is.

The way to a better life after Andropause is known to you now. Life can be as wonderful as it was earlier; accepting the Nature’s rule will give you the feeling of contentment and peace that you had never known before. Take life positively, and fight the devil depression, together you will live happily ever after… Andropause. ________________________________________________________________
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